As I walk through the doors people turn and say: ''He's got a big reputation, as a low roller!''
Far from being embarrassed by the moniker, I wear it with pride.
I eke every last drop of value from the casino without having to dip my hand into my pocket.
It's like a game.
The casino is trying to get money out of me and I'm trying to get money out of them. The difference is that I have a genetic and chromosomal malfunction that means I have a disability more commonly known as short arms and deep pockets.
However, this is one of those genes you can switch on and off at leisure. If I am feeling flush, generous, or seen an opportunity to literally cash in those chips I can add a few inches to those parts of the body that could do with a little bit of length. I'm talking about hands in pockets if you thought I'd drifted off tangent. Although, that sounds a little corrupt in ways.
So this is my approach to making my visits to the casino a real bargain buy and still (yes, there is a positive) an opportunity of winning some cash.
My approach to gambling isn't like many who I fondly characterise by species of birds.
The ostrich that buries its head in the sand.
The head-less chicken.
Or the exotic bird of paradise. Usually, some arm candy who latches onto a high roller at the casino and siphons money, drink, and your hopes for humanity while giving the allure that anything is possible but no is always the answer.
Thankfully, as a low roller, no one is ever going to be ''my new best friend'' because they appreciate I could well be asking to borrow a fiver by the end of the evening.
I'd advise anyone thinking of going to my favourite Grosvenor Casino at Great Yarmouth to go to the horse racing first.
You're probably thinking this sounds expensive.
It doesn't have to be. And you aren't even interested in seeing or betting on a horse. Yes, the mystery deepens. All you want is one of the racing badges (I'd advise getting as many as possible) which you can often find outside the racecourse as punters make their way home. After the last race has concluded, you can even get into the racecourse and find a few tickets because they don't really understand why you are there.
These tickets, badges, whatever they are called are a bit like Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets.
Because the casino will swap your ticket for a free alcoholic drink and £5 free match bet.
It's an incentive to get the gambling addict through the doors and lose all their money.
However, if you aren't part of the Monster Raving Loony Party you basically get £10 in your pocket for nothing. In fact, my brother witnessed some rogue trader (an obnoxious character) changing about ten tickets and a mystical £50 match bet and winning. The front of some people.
A true low roller if I have ever seen one.
The Great Yarmouth casino, formerly known as Shadlingfield Lodge, is a beautiful listed build so you feel like an extra on Casino Royale.
Sitting in the beautiful restaurant and bar, with high ceilings, ornate coving, chandeliers, mirrored walls, and a print of Edward the VII, all you are missing is a couple of Bond Girls.
Make sure you check out the Grosvenor Casino (Great Yarmouth) Facebook page as they often have a special meal deal.
I must admit, I had a problem when I asked for my special deal because no one in the casino had heard of it. As low roller, that wasn't going to stop me from getting my half-price smorgasbord.
True, I may have looked like the biggest cheapskate in the building, but I'd gone from low roller mode to a man of principles and I felt I needed to get this meal simply to prove it was possible. After showing the meal deal on my phone, the ultra-efficient staff (who are brilliant) rustled up the burger and fries and even gave me an extra drink as it must have taken 20 minutes to work out what was going on.
Even the manager was required.
It's all part of the low roller V.I.P treatment that you get if you ask enough questions, look at your watch and reveal a wallet bulging with £50 notes, which you are never going to spend (they don't know that).
No casino likes to say dishearten a potential loser with money to burn.
Never forget the power of illusion. It makes rabbits appear from hats, planes disappear in front of your eyes and a half prize burger pop up on your plate.
Anyway, if you want to get plenty of bang for your buck get the most out of your visits to the casino.
It's especially good if it's your birthday month.
I've seen punters get a birthday cake, lit candles and a rendition of ''Happy Birthday to You...'' for free.
Who says going to the casino needs to be expensive!
Anyway, if you want to get plenty of bang for your buck get the most out of your visits to the casino.
It's especially good if it's your birthday month.
I've seen punters get a birthday cake, lit candles and a rendition of ''Happy Birthday to You...'' for free.
Who says going to the casino needs to be expensive!