Explaining How to Play Roulette to your Old Aunt

Perhaps your aunt taught you how to gamble with the best of them.

I hope so because that's the philosophy I love to hear.  

She may be a raving addy and proud of the fact. 

She plays slots like a machine. 

A storyteller about the poker legend Devil Fish and rocked up at Las Vegas with John McCrirrick and the Boobie. Once, she told Barney Curley how to train a horse.

In ways, I like a senior citizen who lives a little. I would rather see someone with a purple rinse playing the slots than some old dear drunk and disorderly. I've heard a few old gals say they don't act their age as if it is a good thing. 

It might seem a good idea to them, but for anyone looking on it looks ridiculous. There's nothing more stupid than a drunk woman. (Rather see someone playing the slots, that shows more dignity to me).

My aunt Pam was never much of a gambler. Although, she did well on the stocks and shares so you can only take these ''non-gambling'' types with a pinch of sodium chloride. However, I don't want to drag this post into the realm of crossing the road and all that sentimental claptrap as it's as boring as sin. 

But it's true to say my aunt didn't like to gamble in the conventional sense of putting the money down on the table. 

So, I used to bet for her. 

Now, aunt Pam was a wise old bird. She appreciated that I had the most methodical way of playing roulette known to man, women, or beast. In fact, it was so bloody boring a couple of times the croupier nodded off and I moved my chips to a winning number before he realised. 

Yes, that is a joke. 

However, I'm pretty sure he was on the edge of comatose if not a high-rise car park staring at a couple of square feet of concrete to crack his nut. 

My aunt appreciated I had a decent win rate and wanted a bit of the action. We would never bet much money as it was more sociable and fun. Our infrequent visits to the Grosvenor Casino at Great Yarmouth saw me bet the grand sum of about £50 a time. So I and my aunt wagered a pony each (a horse with no name). 

I think on about 6 visits we won bar one small loss. 

Each time I would return and say: ''We won!''

I'm sure she thought I was making up all these wins to put a smile on her face or make out I was the best roulette gambler in the world. 

It was all true winnings and I guess she must have made a £100 or more over the time. 

So if you ever feel the need to explain to your old aunt how to play roulette. Save yourself a little bit of time and just say I will bet for you. Clearly, you need to up your game because if you keep losing she will be convinced you either pocketed the money or a crap gambler. 

Either of those options won't keep you in her good books. 

I miss aunt Pam. She was always someone beautiful in my life and I wish she was still here. Even though she had gone through much heartache in her life she was a strong, reliable, and logical lady. 

I will never forget those endless days of visiting her because every moment was richer than the biggest win in the world. 

Thank you.